hmmm . . .

So, currently I am in the process of procrastinating on doing homework . . . yah. I am actually doing a very good job at it! But, I thought I would post a little about what's up.

It has been really quiet around here since most of my floor went home for Labor Day. That's fine by me. Means I don't have to deal with boyfriends over at odd times of the day and lots of estregen. I have been working on homework. . .

Friday I went to the Navs meeting, then was going to go argentinian tango dancing, but we missed the lesson and didn't have enough guys so a few of us played frisbee in the dark (with a glow in the dark frisbee) then we watched movies till really early in the morning (okay, so like 1:30 - 2ish)

Saturday, I went to the game (instead of doing homework like I should be doing right now) We won 30 to 6 against Weber State. And CU lost their game too! It was a good day except the drunk guys behind us at the game. Then I came back, and went to "practice" for Blam! It ended up Rebecca, Travis, Alex and I were the only ones who showed up, and we couldn't figure out the Dean Collins well enough to practice, so we just worked on couples dancing. I learned some fun stuff, more blues dancing, some fun dips, and some follow stuff. Then, we didn't really want to do anything around the dorms, but we were bored so we went and played pool for a while. I didn't do half bad. Then we wandered around Old Town until we saw Ben at Zydago's and Travix went and hung out with him for a while. The three of us basically went back to the dorms so Alex could go home . . and yah. That was Saturday.

Got up today and went to church . . . it was good. Tough but good. Had lunch, then I did homework until they picked me up for Concert of Prayer, which was where they did communion and worship. Very good. It really helped. (more to come after the wrapping up of the day) and we went to dinner afterward and I came home.

So, yah. Stuff has been just tough here trying to find the balence between having fun and experienceing college, and walking with Christ. I am so struggling with really hearing God and understanding what he wants me doing and how he wants me acting. There are days that it seems like things are going good, then there are days where I just feel so lost, or screwupish. And one of the things today, was really understanding that I CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO "KEEP" MY SALVATION. I don't know to really live with that. I really realized that I have become a little legalistic. okay, possibly more than a little. I just kinda check off my boxes, and go from there. it's hard to unprogram that way of thinking.

And, on top of it, I have been really considering where I am spending time. I like my church group, but I also love the swing society. They just are fun to be around. I just don't know if I am supposed to be giving as much time as I have to it, or how I should be a part of things. I don't know if I entered into it with the right reasons. I want to have fun and it's a place where I can have good, clean fun. I don't want to lose that, but I don't know how well it is going to work . . .

so yah. If you guys want to pray that I can really figure out how this works, and where God really wants me to be, I would be very thankful.

And, I need to be getting going. I am tired and I need to read about 20 more pages in ED stuff before I go to bed tonight so I can go riding tomorrow.

AJ